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Church Of England: The UK Must Ban “Pointy Knives”

The Church of England is demanding that the United Kingdom use force and violence to ban pointy knives. A religious organization is now insisting that crime be reduced by further enslaving the population.

Last year, London’s murder rate briefly overtook that of New York City, a feat likely to be repeated as crime continues its decline in the U.S. while the latest U.K. figures show an increase in violent crimes committed with both guns and knives. In spite of all the laws restricting ownership of anything that could constitute a weapon, violent crimes are getting much worse. Instead of giving people more freedom and the human dignity of being able to defend themselves against these attacks, religious organizations and the government want to take steps to make sure only those committing violent acts have the means to do so.

“We the undersigned are professionals and community leaders from across the UK who call on Government to see the sale of pointed domestic kitchen knives as a thing of the past,” reads the not-a-parody open letter from the Diocese of Rochester, signed by church leaders, lawmakers, psychiatrists, academics, and the like. “Historically we needed a point on the end of our knife to pick up food because forks weren’t invented. Now we only need the point to open packets when we can’t be bothered to find the scissors.”

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